Monday, April 25, 2011

Classes, weather, and tattoos

I finished one of my online classes this weekend, the educational psychology class that is a prerequisite for my masters program.  I'm relieved that my course load is down to only three classes now.  Another one, my statistics class, will be done in two weeks, so I'll be left with just two classes.  My least favorite ones out of the bunch, naturally.  They're both intro to literature classes.  One is kiddie lit and the other is adult lit.  I love to read and I always have, but something about analyzing literature just doesn't do it for me, or at least the way it's done in these classes doesn't do it for me.  In any case, I have to take them and finish them before the masters starts at the end of June (provided I'm physically well enough to be in the program) so I have to finish them.  If my grades aren't ass good as I would like them to be in either class, I have some excuses I can give about why I didn't do so well, right?  I think falling and cracking my head counts as an excuse!

The weather here is still really strange.  It's warmer and not snowing at least, but it's been raining almost constantly for the past week.  We've had a little bit of sun but otherwise it's been rainy, cloudy, windy, and just not like spring at all!  Some of the trees are budding, but we don't have any leaves out yet and the flowering trees haven't blossomed.  It's been a really, really bizarre spring.  I honestly can't remember it ever being like this before, and it's almost the end of April! 

My brother was home this weekend because his university gave them a few days off for Easter.  He had told us a month ago that he got a tattoo, and I honestly didn't believe him, but I saw it while he was here and yeah, it's real.  The ironic part is that it's a Hebrew prayer called the Shema that declares "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one," and Jews aren't supposed to get tattoos.  It's banned according to the Torah - because you know, we Jews are really into allowing things, like eating ham.  Ha ha.  Yeah, Judaism is into not letting you do things.  Anyway, my sister is also a fan of tattoos, and she loves getting them.  She has at least six tattoos, and they're all pretty visible and colorful.  My brother's tattoo is hidden.  Personally, I am not a big fan of tattoos and I have never wanted one.  It's fine if someone else wants one and decorates their own body, I don't judge anyone based on their love of tattoos, but it is not for me.  I would probably choose something that I would hate a month later but be stuck with forever, and the idea of having a Tweety bird on my ankle at 80 years old is a little strange.  I wonder what the difference is between my siblings and me, or the rest of the world and me?  Tattoos are so popular now, and I just don't get why.  My brother and sister and I share DNA and have very different views about tattoos, and I know that both of my parents are even more anti-tattoo than I am.  Anyone else out there who doesn't like the idea of permanently inking something on their body, or with an explanation for why I feel like the only person in the world who doesn't want one of these?   

P.S. Tomorrow is the last day of Passover, and I wanted to have a little bit ofa Passover theme on here before the holiday was finished.  Enjoy the matzah background!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Snow day? Seriously? I think it's because of Passover.

It snowed in Michigan last night!  They predicted a total of 2-4 inches, and supposedly my town got close to 2 inches.  It's April 18th and it snowed 2 or more inches in my state guys!  They're predicting a high of 40 degrees Fahrenheit with some sun this afternoon so the snow should melt pretty quickly but then tomorrow a severe weather system is going to move in and we'll be getting lots of heavy rain and storms, but the snow will melt.  I like snow and love looking at it out the window, but it's weird to be looking out at snow on my grass in the middle of April!

Tonight is the first night of Passover, the holiday when Jews eat matzah and no leavened bread products.  I can't help thinking the weather is some kind of comment on the holiday, hahaha.  Personally I love Passover (or Pesach, in Hebrew) and it's my favorite holiday.  You're supposed to switch all of your dishes to dishes that have never touched leavened bread, and your diet changes quite a bit for the eight days of the holiday.  I like having the different dishes and food.  Sure, it's disappointing to not be able to eat pasta and bagels and things, but it only lasts a week and there are lots of other good things to eat instead.  

I could have titled this post "Why I'm Weird."  I like snow in April and I like not being able to eat leavened bread for a week.  There you go Blogland, I'm beyond strange!  Chag Pesach Sameach to those who are celebrating, and happy spring to those who don't have snow.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Tired of being sick

I'm so mad at myself for being such an idiot and falling two weeks ago.  I mean really, I should have just taken the curb cut/cross walk like a normal person instead of trying to push myself.  I have all these appointments now for platelet transfusions and follow up appointments.  I was starting to feel stronger and like things were going better since my brain relapse last December, and now I feel like I've taken several steps backwards.  I'm weaker, I'm behind on my online class work, I have less free time, and I'm upset with myself.  I do feel better than I did right after I fell, but being a neurologist's daughter I am of course worried about the skull fracture and the bleeding I had in my brain.  I know I should focus on the positive, the fact that I'm feeling better, but I am so tired of having problems!  I just want things to be "normal" - not having to worry excessively about my health, being able to do normal activities.  I'm not driving right now, I'm not even going up and down stairs by myself.  This is the least independent I've been the entire time I've had cancer and the most abnormal I've felt.  I hate it.  I just want to be able to go a week without seeing a doctor, being able to drive, being able to move normally and not having restricted mobility, problems getting upstairs, problems walking a lot.

Just complaining in this post.  Emotionally I'm doing okay, really I am, but sometimes you just have to get it off your chest and complain.  And there isn't much else going on in my life, so this is the topic I have to write about.  Hahaha. 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Seriously guys, I'm a wreck

First update will be about the potential movie star status of my house.  Looks like the movie decided to go with a non-Tudor style house, so they didn't pick ours.  I think that probably makes sense for the character of the professor who owns the house, but of course it's too bad they didn't choose our house!

The funnier news is that I've fallen three times over the past week.  The first time was just me being dumb and going backwards up stairs that I should have turned around to go back up.  This is my weakness guys, I don't have enough strength in my legs to hold up my whole body on just one leg.  So I fell backwards onto a landing and hit my head.  I had to go in to the ER and get a CT scan of my brain to make sure there wasn't any bleeding because my platelets, which clot your blood, have been low.  So that first trip was fine.  The second time I fell I was rushing down the stairs, slipped and fell on my butt.  I didn't go in for any special tests.

Then there was Tuesday afternoon.  I've been feeling stronger, and I was downtown with my mom while she went to the post office to mail a package to my brother, and I returned some books to the library.  Instead of going straight across the crosswalk with the curb cut, I cut diagonally across the road and tried to step up onto the curb.  My leg couldn't support my entire body, and I kind of fell into a squat, and then fell backwards and hit my head.  I cut it so I needed stitches too.  All of these very nice people came to help me, one of them called an ambulance, another let me lean against him so that I could sit up, and I called my mom to come over.  This was my first trip in an ambulance, which I guess is kind of amazing considering what I've been through over the past almost seven years since I was first diagnosed.  The police and the ambulance guys were super nice, and everyone in the ER was great too.  I really liked my nurse. 

So as it turns out, I fractured one of the bones in my skull, and my brain bled a little.  I needed stitches on the cuts on the back of my head too.  I'm sore from the fall so I'm taking pain meds, and they put me on all of these other medications that make me sleepy and/or dizzy/lightheaded.  So I'm having a little more trouble getting around these past few days!  I was in the hospital Tuesday through yesterday evening but I'm discharged now and will hopefully stay discharged.  I was supposed to be in a concert with my voice teacher's studio tomorrow evening, but I won't be able to because of the lightheaded/dizziness and difficulty getting around with these different medications I'm taking.  It's also getting in the way of my classes.  I was supposed to have all of this free time this week to get work done, but I was in the hospital and my brain definitely doesn't feel up to doing all of that work.

Anyway, that's what's happening here.  I'm doing well considering how I could be doing, but could definitely be doing better.  If this post sounds a little confused I'm sorry about that, I feel a little confused from all the medication side effects.  Thanks for sticking around to read my posts guys.