My contract is over on June 30 - you know, 12 days from now. I may or may not get kicked out of the lycée when it closes on July 11. I want to travel before I go home. D and I want to celebrate our birthdays together (13 and 15 of July respectively).
Have I made any travel plans? No. Do I have a ticket home? No. Have I asked the lycée if I can stay past the 11? No.
What's with this total lack of action? Does this mean that I don't actually want to leave France? I have to leave, I can't just stay here. Even if I get renewed, I have to go home to get a new visa!
Somehow I've carved out a life for myself here. The longer I stay, the harder it will be to finally leave. I don't think I want to stay in France forever. I can't imagine raising my kids here, I can't imagine not living in America with my friends and family. I have a life at home, I have plans at home.
But it feels right to be here right now.
At what point will my life be in France? At what point will it feel more normal to be here? At what point will I change my plans to stay here? How long does that take? Will that happen if I stay another year?
My mother will kill me if that ever happens.
So I need to make a plan for leaving for the summer. Step One: tomorrow afternoon, ask the lycée when I'm getting kicked out. Step Two: Figure out travel and departure and where to stay over bday in the case where I am kicked out.