Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Second Birthday

Not only was November 4th my first full day out of the hospital, but it was also the 4th anniversary of my first transplant, or my second birthday. I didn't actually tell anyone this, which is weird because I spoke to many friends today and yet I didn't say anything about it being my fourth second birthday to anyone, even though it was on my mind all day and is kind of a big deal. Maybe it was just too complicated to get into.

It was a day of very mixed emotions. On the most immediate level, sucks to be contemplating my second transplant on the anniversary of my first transplant. How many additional birthdays does one person need? I already have two, I really don't need or want a third. Instead of continuing to move on with my life and progress in all of my plans for the future, I'm back where I was four years ago, staring a major medical procedure in the face with my future on hold and uncertain.

On another level, it's a great day, because in the four years since my transplant I've done so well. I graduated from college and lived in France for two years. I lived in France for two years! I became pretty fluent in French, managed my way through French bureaucracy, traveled all over Europe, met amazing people, and generally had this wonderful experience teaching children how to speak a little bit of English. Even for someone who has been healthy every single day of their life that is pretty incredible, and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. In fact I would almost certainly never have done the assistant program if I hadn't had a transplant. Going through the transplant and the year of isolation afterward made me want to do something more than just continue through to graduate school like a drone. It made me want to do something bigger, something insane like go live in a foreign country. Funny how life works out.

Even though my last transplant wasn't the ultimate fix, it still did a pretty good job for four years, and I have a lot to celebrate, regardless of what is to come.


Zhu said...

You deserve a comment in French tonight ;-)

Je pense que tu dois te concentre sur les choses positives (oui, je sais, plus facile à dire qu'à faire !). La vie peut paraître très injuste mais regarde tout ce que tu as accompli durant ces quatre ans ! C'est incroyable !

Je souhaite que ton prochain anniversaire soit celui où tu te diras "ouf, je vais bien" et que tout cela te paraisse loin.

Continue à te battre très fort, et à penser à toutes les choses que tu vas faire quand tu vas sortir de l'hôpital -- je sais que tu comptes les jours.

Un pas à la fois !

Zhu said...

Damn, I realize I made spelling mistakes. So much for a former teacher, eh!

I blame that on my Canadianism. :-)

L'Étrangère Americaine said...

Happy belated 2nd birthday!

I hope you don't have to have many more birthdays after the upcoming one to stay happy and healthy and be able to do crazy things for years to come. :)

au soleil levant said...

Jasmin - thanks so much.

Zhu - Alors, tu sais, les Canadiens, ils peuvent pas parler le vrai francais! C'est vrai que c'est mieux de penser qu'a les choses positives, mais les pensees moins positives sont la quand meme, et il faut les reconnaitre aussi. Merci bien pour ton soutien, je l'apprecie beaucoup. Je suis contente qu'on s'est trouvee sur l'internet!

Barbara said...

Bonjour Mira,

Zhu as raison; tu mérites une réponse en Français pour t'égayer ! Je dis d'abord "Félicitations !". Tu as si bien fait et je suis convaincu que tu en a profité à 100% et PLUS !

Je dis que tu dois prendre cet optimisme de tes beaux jours et penser positivement.

Mes pensées postives vont vers toi.

Barbara ( l'amie de Leesa).

Alexandra said...

Happy birthday Mira :) I liked this entry.... you have definitely made the most of the past few years, and I know you'll continue to do that.

au soleil levant said...

Barbara and Alex - merci and thank you!

Leesa said...

Gosh, I thought I left a comment here but I must have read it while I was at some hostel in Italia... oh well.. I meant to comment but Happy Second Birthday-- belated...
I would also (or should) write this in French for you but you can translate to French as you read it in English...

Take care,