Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Love Shack: Lycée Edition

The professor"s hallway here at the lycée has turned into a love shack. Everyone here is using their rooms to get some... except for me. And probably not the Awkward Yogurt Stealing Prof. So that leaves 50% of the occupants setting up love nests here.

A few weekends ago the Smoking Prof (who smokes all over the hallways all the time and lies to me when I ask about it) was still hanging around the lycée on Friday. He usually leaves on Thursday afternoon. I know this not because we are BFF but because I choke on the cloud of smoke outside his door whenever I walk past it, so I know when he's there. I assumed he had some kind of meeting or extra class on Friday, but no, he was still there late into the evening. And then imagine my surprise when I was snuggled up in my couette watching a movie (my usual weekend evening occupation) and heard his voice and a female voice in the hallway! If I hadn't been in my PJs I would so have gone out there to see who this woman was. Another prof from the lycée? Were they having an illicit weekend affair? Had they lied to their families about needing to "work" and then used his lycée room as if it were a cheap, tawdry motel? And what happened when the little kids called to talk to papa or maman? I was hooked on the soap opera I invented for them, it was much better than having a TV (since I don't have a TV I have to make up my own fun). She stayed all weekend, but unfortunately I wasn't around that much to spy on them so I still have no idea who she is. They haven't had another weekend shack up since then, but I did hear Smoking Prof on the phone with someone making plans for dinner and a movie last week before Valentine's Day. With her? He did leave the lycée this afternoon all spruced up. To see her? I'm a failure as a spy. I wish I had more information. The next time she stays over I will find out who it is even if I have to meet her in my pajamas.

Then tonight, imagine what I thought when Math Prof (who is very friendly and I like a lot because he always takes out the trash) came home accompanied by a female voice! Yes, I hear everything that happens in the hallway, the walls are very thin. I was trying to imagine a non-tawdry scenario for him that didn't involve affairs because I didn't want him to be involved in something like that. Then, lucky me, he and the woman came into the professor's lounge to use the internet for a couple of minutes just now so I got to meet her and talk to her, and although I felt too shy to ask straight out if they are together, the implication seemed to be that they live together outside of Paris, but he stays here during the week for work and then goes home for the weekend. She's up here for a couple of days to visit the town (and him of course). Does that mean they might be moving here? She was just as nice and friendly as him, I think we would be friends if she lived here. I hope they move here!

So two people who live on the hall are taking advantage of having a second bedroom. Is the idea of a small twin bed in a lycée across the hall from 30 sleeping students a big turn on? And if so, why don't I have men falling all over me to spend the night here? Everyone in town knows I live in the lycée! But no, I don't get to take advantage of my love nest, I just get the broken bed and the label of being the slutty one, when really it's these guys who live with me who should get that title. What a sexist double standard!


Andromeda said...

Of course men aren't sluts here! They're just big macho Frenchmen. Well, maybe medium, sensitive Frenchmen, but they're still MEN, lol.

Spy tips: Find an excuse to knock on his door! They're a mouse in your room, you saw smoke and thought his room was on fire, you fell down and can he take you to the hospital . . . the possibilities are endless. Report back your findings asap!!

Kim said...

Sounds like interesting soap opera style things are going on there... its fun to dream up all these elaborate things going on.

au soleil levant said...

Andromeda - thanks for the spying tips! I should have thought to ask you at the time!

Kim - I think that secretly humans thrive on drama. Don't know why, but we sure crave it!