Or Happy holiday of Passover!
Pesach is the time when we remember the exodus from Egypt, you know "we were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt... and we built cities for him, Pithom and Ramses... then God with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm freed us from bondage..." Including appearances by Moses, the parting of the Red Sea, and the 10 Plagues.
Pesach is also famous because we eat matzah, which is a very dry cracker without much flavor. You aren't supposed to eat leavened bread, and the rabbis took it even farther (like they always do!) by prohibiting beans, corn, and rice. That's only for the Ashkenazi, the Jews from northern Europe. The Sephardim, who come from southern Europe, North Africa, and the Middle East, and probably the Indian Jews too, get to eat rice because it's such an important staple of their diet. My dad always says that one of us kids has to marry Sephardic.
So the poor Ashkenazi suffer through a week of matzah, maztah meal, and whatever you can do to make them palatable. The answer is basically just eat a lot of meat, because dairy dishes are where you miss the real food options the most. I never feel that we suffer from bad food during the week of Pesach. And you'd be amazed at how good the candy they make for the holiday is.
We also change over all of our dishes because the ones we use from day to day are "contaminated" by chametz (leavened bread). I think that part is kind of fun. Don't get me wrong, it's a huge pain to switch over everything in your kitchen for just one week, but it makes everything seem new and clean and special.
Pesach is mostly defined by the Seder that we have on the first two nights. You have a bunch of people over, you tell the story of the exodus (which I have pretty much memorized over the past 25 years and have reproduced sections of it for you above), you sing songs, and you eat a huge festive meal. Jewish holidays tend to revolve around eating. That's my kind of holiday!
Happy Passover, Happy Easter, Happy whatever you celebrate at this time of year.
P.S. I have also added a button to receive new posts by email, after a certain mountain goat (to be specific, an ibex) requested it. It's on the right by the followers area.